Thursday, May 7, 2009

A little Green

You know, I'd like to think I'm a fairly nice person and pretty nice, friendly and outgoing to people. Winning a "best customer service" award for the whole past year would back that up.

I like my friends, I try to help them out as much as possible. . . Normally, I'd say that I go o
ut of my way to help others, but I guess this isn't always the case.

It seems like weddings/w planning brings out the little green monster in me.
I was never as much of a jealous person as I am now. I don't know what it is about this wedding (and I think I can blame a little on the WIC-wedding industry complex), but I feel like I'm in a competition with other brides. It's like I'm in a race and I have to win!

It's not just all brides I'm "competing" with, its the people I used to know - the girls I went to high school with that are now engaged as well. I can't put my finger on what it is exactly, but I'm determined to "win."

I can feel all my judgey feels as soon as I start to think about it - It's horrible!

For instance - there are 2 girls whom I was kind of friends with, but only in passing, but they are both now engaged. My first large annoyance is that they're both a year younger than me and planning a wedding from a yearish by now. Honestly, I'm a little upset by the fact that they've been engaged less than Mr.TB & I have, getting married sooner than we are, and are younger than we are. I mean, really, at age 21 I'm pretty young for this whole wedding business - I feel like I just hit the socially acceptable "cut off" point. But these girls are 20. Lame, right? I know. (Green monster, for reals).

But here's where it's gets bad. . .reallllly 'green'. The one girl (who is marrying a guy twice her age with 3 kids who are closer to her age than she is. . .oh wait, no judging!) is thinking about getting married on the date that Mr.TB and I originally chose. I know that I have to (seriously) get past my emotional attachment to that day. Its not ours anymore, we need to move on. We're gonna have a new day to love - about a year after the original one. Anyway - TB and I still have the church booked for that day (mental note: cancel) and part of me wants to hold onto it for a little bit longer just so this girl can't have it.

Does that make me a horrible person? Probably. But I can't help it - I feel like I have to have the perfect wedding . . . and to have the perfect wedding, that means everyone else has to have an imperfect wedding.

I'll work on it, I promise. It kind of puts me in a foul mood knowing that I could act like this. :(
I think I just need a little perspective? Perhaps, the fact that so many people have found love should be enough to keep my head above water.

Oh boy. . .Well aside from all that suckyness, here's something to make you smile (Source):