Friday, June 3, 2011

Don't Cry Because it's Over...

"Smile because it happened."

Or at least that's what Dr. Seuss tells you to do. . . or the quote that Mr. Giraffe keeps telling me to do.

See, here's the thing, Hive. . . In the interest of full disclosure, I'm going to be honest with you all. I feel conflicted about our wedding. I can look back and key into my feelings on that day and I remember how I felt: entirely blissful, glowing, sheer happiness. That's the thing, I remember feeling that way, I remember telling Mama Giraffe that it was the best day of my life, I remember crying uncontrollably right after our ceremony (but before pictures -oops) because I was so overwhelmed with emotions and happiness.

I know that's how I felt; I remember it, but I don't feel that way anymore.

Mr. G and I had a long talk about this while we ate dinner our the beach during our honeymoon, but I'll break it down for you guys.

It's over.

The wedding is over and gone and I am so heartbroken about it. Yes, I realize that this is ridiculous, and possibly crazy, but its true. Moving and my new-ish job have kept me really busy, which is good, but it wasn't that long ago that I was busy with wedding stuff literally every weekend.

It's never going to happen again.

I knew that this wedding was only a one day deal going into it, but I feel like I didn't get to enjoy it enough, that it went too fast. Jetting off for our honeymoon a few hours after the reception was wonderful and kept me in a giant happiness bubble for a week, but now that bubble is gone. I don't want to blog anymore because it makes me sad. Sure, I have other projects to share with you that didn't make it to the 'Bee pre-wedding, but part of me keeps thinking "that's all in the past now." Mr. G looked at me like I was crazy when I told him that our 2.5 year engagement wasn't long enough.

The worst part? The last 2 weeks before the wedding were so stressful that I just wanted the day to finally get here. I wish that I would've relaxed more and enjoyed the ride, rather than let the stress get to me.

I remember reading 'Bee posts about post-wedding-depression and I didn't think anything of it, but I'm telling you guys, it's legit. As happy as I was on the day, now the thought of it is just bringing me down. How horrible is that?!

Luckily, finally moving into a home with Mr. G and starting our life together is a pretty big and exciting adventure, but I'm still dealing with letting go of our wedding. It was beautiful, and it was great, but I need to let it go. I need to smile because it happened, right?

Anybody else in the same boat? How are you dealing with it?